2012..A Year Not Wasted.

http://flic.kr/p/dFTPLH

Being that I haven't regularly posted in some time now, I thought I would end the year with a little something. Like most folks, I did ponder over the year gone by and wonder what I could have or should have done differently to get better results from whatever I was trying to do.  Then I went back and read the few posts I did make when I started this thing and I learned one thing, no make that two things, about myself in 2012.

1) That whole putting the pressure on being "Fit by 40" thang was created with good intention; however, I realized that I'm happy with me just the way I am. No amount of pound loss will make me feel any better than I already do. (But I can't lie to you, I think it would be fantabulous to one day be able to stroll down the beaches of Maui in a two piece..however, I have learned to settle for the stroll in a nice sundress) 

2) While nobody put a ring on it this year, declaring 2012 as the year of the "Man of My Dreams" wasn't such a  waste of time after all. I met some great guys and learned a few things about myself in the process. One, that I am quite capable of compromise and number two that I CAN cook. Now, I won't be setting any relationship declarations for the year 2013, but I'm still holding on to the hope that he is out there somewhere. On this planet at least.

So, Happy New Year and may this one being even better than the last.

Happy Holidays and....

I just wanted to take a minute and wish everyone a very Happy Holidays and I swear fo' lawd that I will be back in full force in 2013. Just give me a sec to figure out what this whole blog will be about and it will be on!

A Do-Over

Ok..so..exactly two weeks ago I was all hyped up about hitting the Total Gym for 30 days straight and just knew I was going to be toned and sexified by the end of September. Well as it seems, after two days I was experiencing pain in every muscle all over my bawdy which led me to take a break. Said break lasted over a week. So here I am again back to day one. (Well, make that the day before day one because I ain't about to start nobody's exercise anything on a national holiday which allows barbecue and drinks.)

So, I do declare September 4, 2012 the start of my 30-day Total Gym Challenge Do-Over.

For real. No b.s

Chal-lunge!

While I was tittering around a couple of weeks ago, my 16-year old son asked me "What's going on with Shaky Bliss?"
I just shrugged my shoulders and replied, "Ion'tknow."
This middle-aged man in a teenager's body then says to me, "Well, you need to get back on it and then maybe you will remember why you started it in the first place." Then he went on about his business.

So...as I laid in bed this morning pondering where my life is going from this point, (which is something I've been doing a whole lot lately) it occurred to me that I haven't been on the treadmill in two weeks. I'm back to eating cookies, cakes and candy again..AND I am only 4 dress sizes away from my goal size. Also, wasn't I the one going on about how I am going to be foxy by 40? What happened to that?

Oh..I decided to measure my weight loss by inches lost instead of pounds lost because the scale is the devil incarnate..but I digress.

With that being said, I decided to clear off the purses and other things that belong in my closet off the Total Gym and put myself on a 30-day Total Gym challenge. Starting to-day!

So..here's a beginning picture. (excuse the lack of color coordination in my outfit and clutter in the background..I'm also going through a "get rid of my inner Hoarder" stage during my self-imposed mid-life crisis as well)

Cool, Sexy Chic on the Treadmill...NOT!

I'm so glad my work place has a gym, because if I had to breakdown and join a more public arena of fitness it would not be pretty.  First of all, I do not have a plethora of "cute" workout clothes since I really just decided to get serious about this. Secondly, I am a "sweat slinger."  There is nothing cute about sweat spraying from the various parts of my body onto the objects or folks around me.  Am I exaggerating? Maybe a tad, but this was the first thing that popped into my head when I noticed the numerous droplets on the treadmill today. This was I, I was this. 

Sidenote: this little water contraption right here, ruled my summer of '82.

A Few Charley Horses later...

I'm well on my way to achieving what I believe is my ultimate foxiness. I done threw up the dueces to ten pounds already, my pants are looser and I find myself saying things like "Oh. I didn't know I had a mole right there." Too much?  Anywho, I am very proud of myself for sticking with my 45- minute/3 mile treadmill workout (because that's the only thing I will stick with) which I do 5 days-a-week and sometimes on Saturday.

Well, now that I'm feeling all Marion Jones-like; I decided to raise the bar a little. (and by bar, I mean the incline on the treadmill) That incline definitely makes a helluva difference. While I didn't feel it right away, I had a rude awakening a couple of nights in the form of excruciating pain that can only be created by beelzebub himself. The freakin' Charley Horse. I mean really? I was like W.T.F?! Is my leg giving birth to another leg?

It then occurred to me that I wasn't doing the one thing all the exercise know-it-all's tell you to do, stretch. I don't stretch before and I don't stretch after. I just hop my happy ass on the treadmill and start rolling. No warm-up, no nothing. When I'm done, I jump off, wipe down the treadmill, throw my hat on over my sweaty bandana and say "I'll holla" to whoever's in the gym and hit the door.

So.. if I plan to keep this train moving I guess I better stretch-it-out before I work-it-out, because those leg cramps are some b.s. For real.

Check out Claire at about the 1:53 mark

Bittersweet Summer

Whoop there it is! Summer vacation for the kids has started. While I love the fact that I can sleep an hour later or hit the treadmill in the morning (wait..rewind..who am I fooling? Sleep later, definitely); coming home after work to the smell combo of bagel bites, popcorn and unwashed arm pits, not so much. (Any mother of boys will know what I'm talking about.)

Like many full-time working, single moms, I have the dilemma of "what the hell to do to keep these children busy over the summer?"  Fortunately for me I don't have the issue of finding day care, but the thought of my kids sleeping until noon then playing video games until the wee hours of the morning bothers me every year. It bothers me so much that by August I'm swearing that this will not happen again the following year and I will make sure my children are not laying around all summer, yet here we are. (**side-eye** to myself)

Now I did make an effort to find a summer camp program for my 10-year old; however, the thought of paying a "day care center" $120 - 199/week so my child can do arts and crafts and go on a field trip or two just was not going to fly in my world. I know I want my child to interact with the outside world during the summer, but that's some bullshiggedy right there. So I'm back to square one.

This is that moment when you wish you had the option to ship your children off to that relative who lives in the country where the only options they have is to climb trees, ride bikes (without brakes) and play kickball. Oh my bad, that was my childhood.  I forgot we don't "do" those type of summers anymore. (sigh)

Better Late Than Never

I almost gave up on my "Beach Body Summer Quest" over the past few days because I think I may have had too much Cinco with my De Mayo and the treadmill is starting to bore me again, until I discovered the site bodyrocktv.   I was fooling around on Facebook, as I normally do every morning, when I saw the Heart and Soul folks gave them a little shout out.

So they have this whole May 30-day challenge thing going and it only requires about 15-20 minutes of circuit training, yoga and/or free weights everyday and I can do it right in the hiz-ouse.  Cool.

Day one. Let's do this. 

My Big Break-Up

Well, I finally did it. Let go of something that's been with me through the good times and bad. Sugar. Ok, so it's only been 15 days, but in my world that's like a decade. I'm talkin' bout somebody who has been sneaking cookies and candy in her room from age 8 to 38. (Now, I'm sure that whole sneaking candy as an adult needs to be checked out by a professional..for real. But who has the time?)

How have I managed you ask? Well that's simple. Those little drink packet thingys you add to bottled water, peanut butter on whole wheat and low-fat turkey pepperoni. I'm not sure why the pepperoni curbs my sugar cravings, but it's the business.

So I just wanted to take a minute to salute myself, if you don't mind, for chucking the dueces to sweets for that long and losing 5 pounds in the process. Now that's what's up.

What Is I'm Gon' Do?

no-love heart, a photo by zenilorac on Flickr.

Well.. since I have placed a cease and desist order on my M.O.M.D search (that's Man Of My Dreams if you didn't know), I was thinking to myself that I really need a hobby. Not one of those things I would do every now and again, but a bonafide, real deal hobby. So I have been tossing around a few ideas until one sticks.

The first few things I considered were in the garment making arena such as quilting and knitting, but then I thought why don't I just stamp "Old Maid in The Making" on my behind.

So moving on.. Gourmet cooking. Just enough for me to learn how to use things like truffle oil and leeks and shit, but then someone who has burned themselves using a George Foreman grill should probably not spend more than 15 minutes at a time in the kitchen.

I then considered taking one of those online holistic healing courses or a seminar to tap into my psychic abilities (because I sometimes secretly think I'm like that psychic lady Silvia that's on the Montel Williams show), but that wouldn't work either because I still have yet to predict the winning Mega Million numbers.

So.. I am now really thinking of becoming a female body builder, but I would stop right before I form a muscle face and my breasts start to look like a spartan shield with nipples.

(ok.. maybe I need to ponder on this a little bit more.)

Sugar, Sugar...Ah Honey, Honey

Rainbow cake, a photo by Better Than Bacon on Flickr.

Today is the first day of my self-imposed sugar challenge. I am going to limit my sugar intake to the recommended 40 grams a day.

Yes, sugar is my crack... so I'm sure I will be cravin' and feindin' all week. But since I have some serious weight loss goals in mind, it's time to s^%$ or get off the pot.

So..here we go. Day one challenge: get past the honey buns in the kitchen cabinet without shaking.

What Would Chuck Norris Do?

 

I'm not sure if it's the fact that the big Biggest Loser weigh-in day is in two weeks or what, but I felt the urge to pull the clothes I was supposed to hang up two weeks ago off the Total Gym and get my resistance on.  I'm here to tell you.. this little piece of machinery right here ain't no joke. (If you do it right that is.) 

Sure, I might lay on it for about 10 to 15 minutes between exercises because I done went too far and what was supposed to be a 20 - 30 minute workout might last about 90 minutes, but it really works. When I used to be very serious about obtaining a wicked, bodacious bawdy, I would hit it everyday sometimes twice a day and the inches were coming off.  But as usual, I would start seeing results and stop.

This time I will vow (fingers crossed) to make it part of my daily routine. I done YouTubed a gang of videos so I can switch it up a bit and begin sliding my way to fit and tonifiedness. This might just be the summer of the debut of the two piece. (ok yea, I just took it little too far right there.) 

One Is The Magic Number?

The number 1, a photo by WarmSleepy on Flickr.

Let me first start off by saying that I'm so happy that a new week has started I could jump up and kiss myself. Twice. I've had one of those weeks with a whole bunch of somethings goings on and a bunch of nothing accomplished. But it's all good.

Let's recap the Fasting/Detox/Kept-Me-Hungry-As-A-Beast diet I dropped out of at record speed. I just knew I could last 10 days and drop the "20" pounds I was supposed to be able to lose, but when that baked chicken I prepared for the kids Wednesday night called out to me like Celie called for Nettie... I knew it was over. So, I'm starting this new fitness week on the right foot (well, minus the cold fried chicken and slices of bacon I ate for breakfast) by hitting the treadmill for 30 extra minutes a day this week and NO cookies.

Ok..now, let's get down to the real reason I was called to post something today. There's no shame in my game and nothing but pride in my stride, so it does not bother me one bit to admit that I am not an "online dating" success story. And I don't think I will ever be because of the tomfoolery and craziness that draw to me like magnets and I'm the fridge. I do not look for them. I do not exude these things, but they find me.

From this last go round in the world of digital love, I have managed to talk to a guy who advised me that he wanted to leave his scent in my sheets. Never even saw the guy. One guy owned a "Male Grooming Service" which I could never get the full details about, but they or he offers massages, so I just thought I would get out that situation swiftly. Ummm.. an older, retired gentleman who sent me messages constantly requesting he take me out for a dinner of pork chops. Yea, he was 73 years old. No, I decline.

But the one who really frightened me and has now depleted any faith or willingness I had to leave the world of online love open to possibility let down the gauntlet on Friday night. He brought the world of "down low" men to my doorstep, or cell phone because we never met. He revealed his "other side" while in a drunken state. I really thank Mary's Little Baby for that one though because I dodged a serious bullet. But just being that close to one of my greatest fears left me shaken and discombobulated.

Let me make this clear. This is nothing against the LGBT community..do what you do. This is my fear of the "straight" guys who like to dibble and dabble every now and again with other men and act like they don't. Say dude, you can keep that shit. So yea, I was just faced with the reality that the down low man is out there and they are out to get us. No joke.

This has led me to think that being single ain't so bad after all. Hell, I enjoy my own company, you know what I'm saying? What law is there that says we HAVE to be in a relationship? None. I got my kids. I got my books. And I have my Netflix and wine.. life is good.

(Now, I just have to tell myself that over and over and I will begin to believe it)

Dueces and Tre's

Day 3 - I Should Never Smoke Crack.

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(I do not mean to offend anyone whose ever suffered with or suffering with addiction. It's just the random foolishness that goes around in my head being brought to the light)

I am now convinced that I do not have one ounce of willpower. I was doing so well yesterday. I ate apples, drank my tea and honey and water and ate collard greens (without meat) for lunch and it was all good in the hood.  Hit the treadmill and thought about how I was going to blog about my new found love of honey. How it is now considered my miracle food because it seems to curb the need for sugary sweets like the devilish honey bun, then I got home. I was like a crackhead revisiting a crack house for the first time after rehab.

The urge didn't start until I put the baked chicken I prepared for the kids in the oven. I was eating my bland dinner and drinking water thinking I could make it through the night until that chicken came out of the oven. The amount of euphoria and joy I experienced when I decided to "just have a little taste" of the crispy, hot chicken cannot be explained by mere words. I not only ate that piece of chicken with the ferociousness of Mustafa, but I went on and made myself my version of a Mexican pizza (which is just whole wheat tortilla, cheese, jalapeno peppers, tomatoes and chicken..oh, and cilantro thrown in the oven. Simple but so delicioso)

As I ate this I thought I should never try crack or any drug for that matter, because if I can't wean myself off food, how in the hell would I expect to let go of the crack rock?

And yes, the fasting/quick weight loss b.s is over. I will just have to drop this 20 pounds the old fashioned way. Bump that starvation mess because I likes to eat!

Day 1 of My Fasting Diet (The Chocolate Chip Remix)

2011Aug27PreIronman 007, a photo by Dawn - Pink Chick on Flickr.

Monday was supposed to be my first day of this so called fasting diet I was hipped to, but as I posted the same day it became an immediate epic fail. Well, I woke up Tuesday ready to try it again. I wasn't fully prepared because I didn't get to "make groceries" like I was supposed to on Monday evening, but I said to hell with it let's get this thing rolling.

So I did manage to drink enough water to fill Lake Pontchartrain and enough herbal tea to cure every ailment known to man, but I didn't eat anything until about 8pm. This is where things took a wrong turn. I heated up some frozen collard greens (which was all I was supposed to eat) while re-heating some left over white beans and sausage for my lil homies. Before I knew it, I was eating collard greens and white beans in the same bowl and devouring smoke sausage like it was cased by Emeril Lagasse. I figured "oh well, might as well go on 'head and eat these chocolate chip cookies too since I done messed up."

Well to my surprise, I hopped on the scale this morning and found I lost 3 pounds since last week. Can I get a "whoop whoop?!"

So.. I'm 'bout to keep tea/water thing going and see what the scale has for me Friday.

I Tried Fasting...

Excuse me while I whine about my ongoing battle with weight loss for a minute.

So, I was talking to an acquaintance of mine last week and "dropping pounds" found its way into the conversation. I told him all about the Biggest Loser deal we have going on at the job. He asked me how it was going. I sucked my teeth and complained how I hadn't lost one $#%@^ pound when he offered me a copy of this 10 day "fasting" diet he went by that helped him lose 20 pounds. I was like "yea, that's what's up. Give it here."

I was all hyped up last week talking about how I couldn't wait until Monday to get the ball rolling. I can survive on cabbage, spinach, apples, tea and honey for 10 days. No problem.

Well, here it is Monday morning and I'm already feeling like this:

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This ain't gon' work dawg. I couldn't survive 5 hours. How in the world am I going to go 10 days? I have a headache, my stomach is touching my back (that's extremely hungry) and I'm two seconds away from putting the entire cookie jar up to my mouth and letting the Chips Deluxe have their way.

Back to the treadmill for me.. (there's just no easy way outta this mess)

..and here's a lil clip from the movie for your enjoyment...(replace the cramps! with HUNGER! and that's me.)

Cramps!



I'm Gonna Git You Sucka

— MOVIECLIPS.com

Photo-a-day Color

 

On my "blast the fat" walk yesterday, snapped a pic of this tree. That's all I have to say about that.

April photo a day challenge list (Let's try this again..sigh)

Click on that link below if you want to try this. I have been neglecting my blog big time so I thought I would try this again.

From her blog:
fat mum slim: April photo a day challenge list: Hello! Are you ready for a month of fun? I'm pretty darn excited about this month's list. It feels fun. Do you agree? So let me explain a...

Here's my day one:

My reflection... why the microwave? Because when I walk into the house the first thing out of my boys' mouths is "I'm hungry." or "What are we going to eat?" And with my "stellar" cooking skills, I would be totally lost without one of these.

doors can shut, to make new beginnings ((let that story go!!))

doors can shut, to make new beginnings, a photo by notsogoodphotography on Flickr.

Well.. I watched Oprah's life class for the very first time last night and only because my sister sent me a text to tell me it was on. I knew about the show, but would usually watch reruns of Martin or whatever "wives" show is on instead.

This time, I 'm glad I did.

Iyanla Vanzant (whose name I have been spelling wrong all this time) was on and I usually enjoy her, so I buckled on down and paid attention.

The main thing that I held on to after the show went off was how she told er'body to "let your story go." What I got from that was to stop holding on to that sob story of HOW you got in your current situation and focus on the here and now. Let it go!!

Stop leaning on the "past" as an excuse to why you can't fulfill your goal or vision or dream. Stop the "I can't because this happened..." or "This happened to me back in the day so.." and another thing she said (which I wish I could remember verbatim) was targeted at us single mothers.. Stop saying "I'm a single mom so I can't.." which flows out of my mouth constantly.

If you are into self-improvement and all that jazz.. I do recommend you check this episode out when it rebroadcasts or is available on-line.

Peace!!

Haven't Whined About This In Awhile..

After another exciting Friday night of Pinterest, Netflix topped off with Jimmy Fallon, it occured to me that dating is just like the old TV game show Press Your Luck.

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You meet a decent person who seems to have common sense. ***No Whammy!!**

Go out a couple of times and find that they are funny, smart and love to have a good time just like you. **No Whammy, Please!!**

You find that you both have a plethora of things in common and start to think: "Ok.. this could lead to a little something." **I'm almost to the big money, No Whammy! Please!!**

Then, BAM, you find that they are full of games and the both of you are NOT on the same page. Whammy!!

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So, then you pick your face back up off the ground, square your shoulders and get yo swagger back. You look in the mirror and remind yourself that:

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important." - Aibileen (The Help)

(I hope this video is decent. Can't preview it from my work computer..)

Remember.. Love is still in your face!!

Had To Take Things Up a Notch....

Another weight loss post....

I think I may have mentioned this before, but I am attempting to be fit by 40. Achieve stone cold foxiness by the time I reach my next decade of livin'. For some reason though, I cannot stay motivated. I have managed to fit in two, yes TWO, workouts in since we started Season 2 of our Biggest Loser "Beach Body" challenge at the j-o-b on March 2nd.

So, I made the hasty decision (which is how I make most of the important decisions in my life) to hunt down some weight loss "supplements."

I walk into GNC looking desperate as ever and the sales guy spotted a sucka immediately. He tried to get me to buy some program that included cleansing, meal plans, work out plans and stuff, but anything that requires me to follow a routine will not be done. So, I bought a bottle of some thermogenic pills Total Lean Burn 60 and   a bottle of water pills. Here they are - da pills

I tried the Burn 60's yesterday evening and they did manage to help me complete an entire workout. What is considered a workout in my book? A walk-away-the pounds dvd. Specifically this one. It may seem lame, but believe me you will be sweating your arse off by third mile.

Let's see how this new plan pans out...  If this doesn't work, than it's on to EURO-TRAINING!!!

Give Me That Thug Love!

For someone who has Lil Wayne's Carter IV, Watch the Throne and YoungBloodz featuring Lil' Jon in constant rotation on my music player and will watch movies like King of Paper Chasin' in a heartbeat, I am a huge, bourgeois book snob. I'm one of those people who would literally turn my nose up at the so called "urban fiction" that is displayed in Wal-mart's book section. I mean who wants to read an entire book about some girl from the streets who falls in love with a drug dealer, blah, blah, blah.  The Coldest Winter Ever by Sister Souljah (which is da bomb) was the closest I came to reading anything similar and that's where it stopped.

Well, I finally got around to using a Barnes & Noble gift card I received for Christmas and ordered these books:

The Loom by Shella Gillus. The type of book I normally read because I love to read historical fiction. Specifically any story set during antebellum slavery to 1950's or 60's. Couldn't explain why, but I get all caught up.

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Gathering of Waters by Bernice McFadden. After J. California Cooper this is one of my all-time favorite authors. This woman could re-write Green Eggs and Ham and I would read it.

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Ok so, I started reading The Loom this weekend when I ran across the book White Lines by Tracy Brown.

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 I cannot put this book down. I done left a southern plantation in 1847, took it the streets of New York in the 90's and can't find my way back. Yes, the main character is from the projects, was getting beat down by her step-father, is hooked on crack and...(ok, I won't ruin it for those who plan to read it). Let's just say, the book has 496 pages and I am only on page 97. I feel like I've watched an entire season of The Wire after the first couple of chapters. Love it!

I don't know yall, it might be hard for me to go back and try to read the copies of Toni Morrison's Love or Love in the Time of Cholera that I've been meaning to get around to after "slumming" it for a couple of days.

**now adding other books from Triple Crown Publications to Amazon wish list. A Hustler's Wife, A Hustler's Son...the list goes on**

First Day of Spring

dahlia 4/18/08, a photo by the1pony on Flickr.

Although Dallas is receiving more rain than we can handle, I love that today is the first day of spring. The season of rejuvenation, rebirth, regrowth and renewal. And any other "re-" you can think of.

I decided I needed to "re-up" my blogging and start posting everyday again. My slacking skills kicked in and it's time to release those.

"It is better when you kill us..."

I'm not an activist by any means and I never stand up for "a cause." **hangs head for a second** However, I got word of a documentary that's gone viral on YouTube from the Invisible Children folks who are trying to bring some attention to the atrocities being handed out by Joseph Kony. This summamabitch is the leader of the L.R.A in Uganda. (That's Lord's Resistance Army). He has no reason or cause why he does what he does, but for the past 26 years he has kidnapped approximately 30,000 children and turned the boys into rebel soldiers and the girls into sex slaves.

The header is a quote from one of the young boys in the documentary below. He would rather die than stay here on earth. That hit me like a brick, so I had to post something. I may be flying well below the radar, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to do my part to bring some attention to this travesty.



"Where you live, shouldn't determine if you live."

Stay blessed. Because if you are able to read this, than you are doing a whole lot better than many others.

Gotta Love New Music from Good Artists

There are two things that bring little moments of excitement to my life, new music from an artist I really like and new books in the mail.

While checking out a few of the blogs I normally frequent, I discovered two new songs posted on the blog Soulbounce.com (Good blog to check out if you love music as much as I do.)

Tamia has been holding her own for quite awhile now, but it wasn't until her 2006 album Between Friends that I really became a fan. I wore those tracks out!  I would play the entire thing over and over. I'm happy she is returning with a new single "Beautiful Surprise" which is right up my alley. A song about being in love from a woman in love.



Next, we have Q Parker from the '90's group 112. I have to admit I was never a fan of that group; but after listening to this single from Q, I may have to go back and listen to a few of their hits again. A song from a man trying to prove his love is better than the next dude's is always a winner in my book.  Props to Q-dog.



And that's all I have to say about that.

Have You Seen Her? (Putting Myself on Blast)

Well, today is the first day of part 2 of the Biggest Loser Challenge at the job. I did manage to get a little jump start on Saturday evening by walking for an hour, but topped the weekend off with movie theater popcorn and pork chops. So, there's that.

Here we are at day one. I decided to try something new by searching on-line for inspirational pictures to keep me motivated ( i.e., photos of celebrities who pay thousands of dollars a year to keep it tight). Since that is a tab bit unrealistic, I just decided to pull up some old photos of myself from 5 years ago when I was a regular walker and non-lover of fast food, snack cakes and didn't drink sugar laced coffee every morning.

You see what had happened was, I had a big wake-up call back in mid to late 2006. I was on a sorta, kinda weight loss thang back in 2005 then the whole Katrina brouhaha ensued and I made my way to the DF-dub. If I wasn't trying to figure out if I was going to stay in Dallas or not, I was probably eating. When one day, I realized I was about 5 pounds less than mi papa. Oh hell to the naw! I started walking 5 days-a-week followed by free weights every morning, immediately.

I went from here:

I can't believe I'm posting this...Vegas August 2006 



To here:

early 2007 maybe. 4 dress sizes down.

2007.. started going downhill from here, but I was still 6 dress sizes down.

I got hired at my current job and it all went downhill from there. The walking workouts went from 5 days-a-week to 1 or 2 days-a-week to nothing.  Picked up a pack of cookies and never put them back down. Before you know it, the 40 pounds I lost had done crept back up on me. Give or take 5 pounds. 

I am now here:

Friday, March 2nd..I am 2 sizes away from the first pic ...sorry for the graininess

I can live with it, but my midsection done extremely overlapped and in my mind, with the size of my arms I look like I should be playing fullback for the New Orleans Saints. Since I plan on hitting up a couple of water parks with the kids this summer, we can't have this. 

So there you have it. My own inspiration board. I didn't use pictures of Beyonce', Janet or Toni Braxton (you see where I'm going with this? Whose abs and legs I would kill for.) Just found some pics of plain ole me to prove to myself that the excuses are some b.s. 

Operation Fit by Forty is in full effect. Let's do this!

Biggest Loser "Funky Cold Medina" Edition - Epic Fail

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was the initiator and instigator of a weight loss competition at da j-o-b. There was a financial incentive to be won. It started back in January and ended yesterday. I started off strong. Was talking a bunch of smack, as only I can, to my coworkers and just knew the greenbacks would be mine at the end.

That didn't even happen captain.

I get on the treadmill and eat "correctly" for about two weeks then someone asks, "Are you losing weight?"  For some reason, that question always leads to my backsliding and I start to think I look like this:



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Now,  I know I don't look like that in the real world, but all it takes is one decent compliment and I give the treadmill the side-eye when I pass by.

Well, I have a chance to redeem myself. We are starting round 2 which I have titled "Beach Body" biggest loser and we raised the amount cash to be won.

Here's my plan:
8 - 10 glasses of water a day. No matter what.
Workout 5 days a week (early a.m) - No excuses!
Treat cookies and ice cream as if they are loaded with crack. No allowances until I complete a 12 step program for junk food junkies.

I figure this will help me get back on the wagon.

If you can load me up with some other tips, feel free. (especially if they advise me how to lose 10 pounds a week and develop a 6 pack in a month. Keep dreaming, you say?)

Why Do I Get Only 5 Hours Of Sleep?

site

Breaking Bad. I know I'm tardy for the party, but this has to be the most well written shows on television today. It airs on AMC, but I don't know the dates or times. (Well, I think season 4 is done, but I'm still on season 3 thanks to Netflix.)

My 15-year old son who is the YouTube know-it-all guy in my abode introduced me to it. He doesn't watch the show, but watches clips of the best scenes. I saw one video and thought I would watch the first episode to see what all the hype was about and became hooked.  I didn't think any other show could reach the caliber of The Wire, but one has. (Hey, I don't claim to be a "certified" TV critic, but in my little world The Wire was the shiznit.)

The only time of day that I can watch this show in peace is after 9pm where I manage to fit in 2 or 3 episodes and before you know it, I'm dog tired and remember I have to wake up at 5am. But the nodding off at my desk and 2-3 cups of coffee to make it through the day are worth it.

((Note to self: I have got to step my social life up a notch..jeez!))

Excuse Me?!



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"I see what your problem is. You are not compliant."

(Whenever I hear the word compliant I think of Number 5 from the movie Short Circuit. That's why I chose that picture.)

Did I mention I was back in the crazy, clown-filled, murky waters of on-line dating again? Oh, well yea. A Saturday or so ago when I had one too many glasses of Cupcake Angel Food Cake wine, I decided to stop thinking about doing it again and signed up.  How's it going?  Let's just put it this way, I should've kept on thinking. It is "ridonkulous!" 

I just recall my last experiences being  more enjoyable. I sign up, post a photo and start receiving a stream of messages from international players telling me how beautiful I am, poems that are sent to every woman on the site but tailored fit for you, invitations to go on cruises with 70+ year old men... but this time, it's a little more serious.  These men are not playing. They are frustrated, have been scorned and don't have time for us angry, black women. (one brother actually wrote that last part on his profile. "If you are an angry, black woman, do NOT contact me.) Hilarious.

Anyway, although I was completely turned off from the whole on-line experience after my first few days, I decided to give my cell number to two of the guys who seemed to be pretty decent. The first one, I think I literally dozed off during our conversation. Then the second one called. The one who inspired this post. This fool, who doesn't know me from a hole in the ground, told me I will never find a man because I am not compliant. I thought he was joking. Ha Ha. No ha ha, he was serious. 

Since I did not want to answer questions that I thought were too invasive for a first time conversation, his "wittle bitty" feelings were hurt and he got all defensive. A 45-year old fireman who described himself at "strong and fun to be around," couldn't handle the word "no."  He's not the only one. It seems this new "metrosexual" man of the new millenneum thinks he can ask a woman anything that pops in his head and we are supposed to answer because we are so lucky that we were selected to be in his presence. No, it doesn't work that way.  It's one thing to be curious and another to be down right disrespectful. A woman has a right to refuse topics of conversation without being labled as mean, cold or a bitch.

I really want to keep my blog a positive place, so I won't venture off into the trials and tribulations of the black woman/ black man dating scene at this time. Just had to share. Enjoy your Friday.

(hmph! Compliant? I will show yo a$$ compliant.)

Time to Put Up or Shut Up

Catalina House -- Extreme saturation, a photo by Ed Bierman on Flickr.

I am a little ashamed to say this, but I've never been a homeowner. I have managed to live in a plethora of apartment complexes, duplexes or every other -exes you can think of, but never really took home ownership seriously. The closest I've ever been to investing in my own home are my daily entries into the HGTV Dream Home Sweepstakes or Publisher's Clearing House.

Thanks to my obsession with House Hunters on HGTV, every now and again I get what I call the "home buying fever." This is when I search all over the internet looking for a house I think I can afford in the area I want to be in, but I do all of that without any real planning. I never once tried to contact a lender or real estate agency because I usually talk myself out of it.

But I told myself Twenty-twelve is going to be different. How long will I suffer through the smell of other people's dinners before I get off my tail and get the ball rolling? When will I realize that I am in the Dallas area to stay and will not be swept off my feet by my dream man to live on the beach somewhere? (yall know I got husband finding issues) I decided that time is now. I signed up for a First Time Homebuyer's class which is in a couple of weeks and is vowing to show up this time.

Now it's time to start putting my money (or lack thereof) where my mouth is.

Bucket List

Bucket-B/W, a photo by lady_lbrty on Flickr.

This past Valentine's Day, I decided to invite a good girlfriend of mine to go out and have a couple of drinks instead of sitting at home wondering if my 2013 Lover's Holiday will be just as dateless as my 2012 V-Day. My equally dateless friend said "Where and what time?" and we met up at nearby sports bar. (Which turned out to be the "Land of Reject Valentines", but I digress)

Anywho, in between a couple of laughs and shots of Three Olives "Cake" Vodka (which is delicioso) she shared with me something her dad told her during one of their conversations about life's goals and whatnot; "I know you are living the length of your life, but make sure you are living the depth of your life." Go 'head Pops. Of course I Googled it and it's similar to a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ "It's not the length life, but the depth of life."

So many of us are racing through our days on earth trying to achieve more than what we or the next person may have, that we rarely simmer down and embrace what we've already accomplished, pursue what we "really" want to do or do something with real meaning. Something that will leave your mark on this crazy world. (I know I blog on issues like this on a regular, but I need this reminder every now and again.)

The combination of the Emerson phrase and the passing of the incomparable Ms. Whitney Houston, forced me to ask myself: Do I really have a bucket list? I mean, I have a fantasy wish list of things that will never happen in my lifetime, (like, starring in a Broadway musical written and produced by Tyler Perry and directed by Spike Lee), but I really need to make a list of attainable goals beyond the normal all day, everyday stuff. It's time to get specific.

What have you done to make sure the items on your "Do or Die" list are checked off? (No, really, what?)

Happy Valentine's Day Good People

African American Couple Headed Out On the Town, 1930's, a photo by Black History Album on Flickr.

The complaining and fretting over being single on Valentine's day is so 2011, so I say ...

Love your self. Love your kids. Love the one you're with. It doesn't matter. Show somebody some love today.

It's Not Right, But It's Okay

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Like many people around this world, my heart is a little heavy today after hearing of the passing of Whitney Houston.  I tried to explain to my son why her death is affecting me in such a way, but just couldn't put into words.  Maybe it's because she was the songbird whose career I had the pleasure of following from the very beginning.  I don't know. Maybe it's because she made the high pitch notes, low pitch notes and all of those in between seem so effortless. It could be because she was such an "around the way girl" and international diva at the same time. 

I was only 13 when the video "You Give Good Love"  appeared across the t.v screen, but I remember becoming one of her biggest fans from then on.  Beautiful smile and a beautiful voice, what more could we ask for. I was never able to get a copy of her first album, the Whitney Houston LP; but when her second record dropped, I was on it.  I would listen to both sides of that record with enclosed lyrics in hand until I knew every song. 

I wasn't ready for Whitney to go, but I understand.

That Reality Check Can Be a Beeyotch!

Sorry! The lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock by Banksy, a photo by dullhunk on Flickr.

I was having a nice little chat with a decent fella last night which led into a conversation about age. He couldn't believe how old I was, (because I'm so fabulous, of course) and it just hit him like a brick that he was turning 35. Which is still a "babe in the woods" age, but he sort of pondered off for a minute like he was about to head straight into a mid-life crisis. When he sorta came to said "35! (insert F-bomb)"

Yea, my brother, the age process is something we have to go through. You can't stop getting older, fight it, but can't stop it.

I, myself, had the big reality moment last year before I decided to start blogging. I mentioned before that I was a chronic school enroller. I couldn't (and still can't) make up my mind as to what I wanted to do when I grew up. It then hit me like a weapon of mass destruction that I was grown up. (If 39 is not grown up, then help me Lord!) I was so busy trying to decide what career path I should pursue, that the years flew right on by. Maybe I should teach. No, wait, nursing school. Nah, let's try a degree in computer information systems. Aw hell, forget all of that, get a degree in general studies and go for my masters. (Yea, that's going to happen.) In a two years, my oldest child will be on his own journey into adulthood. What are we going to do, be college roomates? (which would just kill him)

I then realized that I am fortunate to be where I am right here and right now. No, I can't go out here and drop a stack of bills on a travel agent's desk and go on a month's long tour of Europe or drop into Nieman's and pick up a little something to throw on; but I can get around without the aid of somone else, have sustained a roof over my little homies' and I heads and we eat (oh boy, we can definitely get our grub on).

So, excuse me while I embrace "my" reality, because from this moment on it's all about "letting go and letting it flow." Feel free to do the same.

Lawd Have Mercy.. This Done Made Me Miss Home

CNN Article

I'm browsing through CNN just minding my own business and ran across this here.  That picture you see above.  An over-stuffed shrimp po-boy. Dressed. If you are a native New Orleanian you know what I mean and understand why this creation from heaven deserves recognition.

It goes beyond the po-boy though. This is just one of the many things I miss about my hood.  Mardi Gras, King Cakes, beignets, Jazzfest, drive-thru daquiri shops, snowballs, speaking to people you don't know, passing by my mama and 'nem.

Yea, I know New Orleans gets a bad rap due to the violence and corruption and what-not; but I really don't want to hear "nothing from nobody" unless they were born and raised or have lived there most of their life.

It's ironic that I have this "don't talk about my city" attitude, but refuse to move back; but don't worry about all of that. Just know that the N-to-the-O is still a wonderful place to visit. (Just ask the folks that put on the Essence Fest every year. They know what time it is.)

Dating Is Some B.S

Couple dansant à contre-jour, a photo by couscouschocolat on Flickr.

Now that I've decided to take this whole "settling down/serious relationship" search seriously, I have discovered the main reason why I am still in "never married" status. Dating. Dating in the new millineum is some bullsh*t. For real.

There are so many mind games and foolishness you have to wade through to figure out if this person is a right fit, that it leaves you tired of being sick and tired. I don't know if I'm the only one feeling this way, but it's getting on my last good nerve.

It seems lately you can't get a straight answer out of anyone these days:

"What do you do for a living?" (simple question, I'm not trying to count your nickels and dimes my brother)

"Are you single?" (You HAVE to ask this due to the fact that many men define single as "not married.")

"Do you have children? If so, how often do you see them?" (Another importante' inquiry, because if they don't give a damn about theirs, you know what they will think about yours)

"How did your last relationship end?" (I am not overly concerned about how many relationships you may have had or when they ended. My major concerns are: did you have to obtain or be put on a restraining order? Were the police on speed dial throughout the relationship? and.. are you currently in hiding because the ex, who just served time due to the last attempt on your life, will be released from prison soon. ((I met someone going through this)))

Sigh.. yea, dating is for the birds.

My Novels That Never Were

book cone, a photo by jimforest on Flickr.

I've been having the "write the next best thing in literary fiction" itch again. Either it's time to scratch it or pick up some Neosporin.

The problem is that I have perfected the arts of procrastination and avoidance. There are at least 30 or so story starters or ideas in my Word documents file. I had some pretty good ideas if I do say so myself. (just going to pop my collar right here) **pop**

So, I'm going to add one last goal to my list of "sh*t or get off the pot" list. Pick a starter and finish something!! (For the love of all that is holy!)

She That Don't Cooketh Can Still Findeth A Good Thing

Cooking - Ninja Style, a photo by cszar on Flickr.

Ok.. this may never be me. I am not and probably will never be a "beast" in the kitchen. Whew! Now, that I have accepted this revelation, I can move on.

I have been worrying myself silly about being a "fire" cook and it's just not working out. After the last grilled steak episode Sunday evening (which I'm too ashamed to even explain..Dude, I even used the fool-proof George Foreman), I realize that this whole preparing cooked food thing is not my strong point. (Well, let me take that back, trying to go out of my comfort zone is an issue.) I will no longer waste my hard-earned dollar bills on red meat unless it comes in the shape of a frozen, prepared hamburger pattie.

With all of that being said, I know we (or I) have been told numerous times that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, honey chile, this sista is definitely going to have to find another route.

**silence**

Ok, this post was about to head in a whole other direction, but I'm just going to stop while I'm ahead.

Is Black History Month Going Out of Style?

It just occurred to me that this is Black History month.  No, really, it did.

I asked my 15-year old if his school was doing anything special this month and he looked at me without a lick of concern and says, "Nope. Do you have an extra dollar so I can buy some cookies at lunch?" (sigh) I will ask my other youngin' later this evening, but after searching the school district's website I didn't find anything.

If you think about it, do we really need to focus on black history once a year? In the age of Google, iPads, Smart phones and downloadable apps, black history facts are available 24/7. Just search "first black (or African-American) person to do this or that" and you got it.

 Back in the day, Black History month saved us a few hours of searching through the library for information (because someone else took the time to do it)  and gave us a month's worth of black films on tv. Now, you can just hit up Netflix or Amazon and there you have it. You can watch X, every Dr. Martin Luther the King movie ever made or School Daze wherever and whenever.

I'm not saying we should lay black history to the wayside, but as a parent take it upon ourselves to make sure the kids are aware of the contributions and sacrifices that were made. Not wait for a program at the school or church to do it for us. Visit a museum every now and again. What would it hurt. HuffPost/Black Voices put a decent little piece together about Black History. Check it out here.

Now, on that note, and in recognition of Black History month, please enjoy one of my 10-year old's and I favorite YouTube clips. A 7-year old Sammy Davis Jr singing "You Rascal You."

Look How Far We've Come... smh

This was considered "saucy and tantalizing" in 1911.



found it here


and then you have this 101 years later....


I was tittering around on Twitter a couple of nights ago when Drizzy tweeted that he was asking for video submissions for his song "Practice" along with the link to his blog. (Here's the link if you've been practicing.) So, being the nosey person I am I went to his blog and found this tomfoolery.


Practice from OctobersVeryOwn on Vimeo.

Now, I do not and refuse to knock anyone's hustle, but I couldn't help but think how pathetically this is the norm. Now females and she-males of every size, age and color are going to try to get their 15 minutes.
 
**I can't seem to get back up after I drop it...so no submission from me (just kidding!!)**

Feb Pic-A-Day ..Words

I'm not sure if you are aware, but I've been on a one-woman protest to North Texas Tollway Authority charges since 2008.  No, it didn't make Fox News or Good Morning America, but I cannot stand this pimp-o-licious activity that's taking place on these highways.  How dare you force me to pay because I choose to take a quicker route?  Just because I need to get to a particular happy hour to catch the "$4 You-call-its" before 7, you are telling me that I have to sit in traffic and risk paying regular prices for my favorite cocktail or pay you $4 - $5 to get there in time?  Ludicrous!

**pulls out debit card to avoid that second notice**

I Am Drawing a Blank These Days..So, February Pic-of-the-Day It Is

Nothing much as changed since last week (I'm still husbandless, struggling with this "cooking from scratch" thing and I still can't compare abs with Kelly Rowland), which has pretty much left me with nothing to post about.  So, I decided to join the February Picture-a-day thingamajig I found on another blog (right here)  Fatmumslim.com.au. But. honestly, I probably won't complete it, because I like everything else I start...I never finish.

Today's topic is "my view today"

So here it is. The lovely view of my "organized mess" of a desk.

Notice the Christmas cards under the monitor which may stay there until next Christmas.
The framed magazine photo of Tupac.
The file holder thingy has holding useless information. (I have no idea what any of that stuff is)

Yea, that's it. My view every week. Lovely.

Red Meat Isn't Good For You Anyway

Hamburgers, a photo by m.mate on Flickr.

So, I have been obsessing over this whole "cooking from scratch" pledge I've declared and I have to say so far, not so good.

I made up my mind that Sunday was going to be the day I tackled my red meat issues. But after waking up at 3:30am to report to work at 5am on Saturday morning then deciding to go get "loose with some Grey Goose" Saturday night AND clocking in a few more hours Sunday at the J-O-B, it didn't seem so appealing.

Not wanting to let my "dog" tiredness be an excuse, I decided to forgo the Burger King drive-thru and make some homemade hamburgers.

OK, first of all, I've done this before. I don't know if I have selective amnesia or what, but apparently somewhere between me forming patties, placing them on the George Foreman and putting the burgers together something went wrong.

My children took one bite of their burgers, politely placed them back on their plates and unapologetically told me they were nasty. Needless to say, dinner ended up being a mix between hot dogs and ham sandwiches.

I am thinking if I can't get a burger right, then what chance do I have of cooking a juicy steak? I see "veganism" in our future.

Facing Reality

dreams and wishes. 62/365, a photo by nicole.pierce.photography ♥ on Flickr.

Last night as I was trying to find everything under the moon to do in order to avoid doing the inevitable, homework, I started to ask myself a very important question. (I talk to myself quite often, you see, because I always say what I want to hear.) What do I really want to do with the rest of my life?

At my age (whatever you guess is right, but I'm sure I posted it on here somewhere before) you think I would have this figured out. You want to know why I don't? Because I wanted to do everything at one time or another. I have pursued every career known to man at.  I have enrolled in every type of school from court reporting to film/movie classes (actually completed a "production assistant" course where I later found myself as a errand running/script copying girl..sorry I quit that one) And don't get me started on the amount of times I have enrolled in 4-year universities and community colleges.

Call it a midlife crisis or feeling like I'm stuck in a rut, but I decided to take some time this weekend and evaluate my current dreams and goals. How realistic are they? Is there really a job out there that will pay me to sit under a big palm tree while reading my favorite books and sipping on mojitos?

I think we all may feel like this at one time in our life or maybe you have your dream career, but it doesn't hurt to re-evaluate every now and again. I think it's never to late to start over or re-invent yourself, just have to put your (my) mind to it.