Why Do I Get Only 5 Hours Of Sleep?

site

Breaking Bad. I know I'm tardy for the party, but this has to be the most well written shows on television today. It airs on AMC, but I don't know the dates or times. (Well, I think season 4 is done, but I'm still on season 3 thanks to Netflix.)

My 15-year old son who is the YouTube know-it-all guy in my abode introduced me to it. He doesn't watch the show, but watches clips of the best scenes. I saw one video and thought I would watch the first episode to see what all the hype was about and became hooked.  I didn't think any other show could reach the caliber of The Wire, but one has. (Hey, I don't claim to be a "certified" TV critic, but in my little world The Wire was the shiznit.)

The only time of day that I can watch this show in peace is after 9pm where I manage to fit in 2 or 3 episodes and before you know it, I'm dog tired and remember I have to wake up at 5am. But the nodding off at my desk and 2-3 cups of coffee to make it through the day are worth it.

((Note to self: I have got to step my social life up a notch..jeez!))

Excuse Me?!



source

"I see what your problem is. You are not compliant."

(Whenever I hear the word compliant I think of Number 5 from the movie Short Circuit. That's why I chose that picture.)

Did I mention I was back in the crazy, clown-filled, murky waters of on-line dating again? Oh, well yea. A Saturday or so ago when I had one too many glasses of Cupcake Angel Food Cake wine, I decided to stop thinking about doing it again and signed up.  How's it going?  Let's just put it this way, I should've kept on thinking. It is "ridonkulous!" 

I just recall my last experiences being  more enjoyable. I sign up, post a photo and start receiving a stream of messages from international players telling me how beautiful I am, poems that are sent to every woman on the site but tailored fit for you, invitations to go on cruises with 70+ year old men... but this time, it's a little more serious.  These men are not playing. They are frustrated, have been scorned and don't have time for us angry, black women. (one brother actually wrote that last part on his profile. "If you are an angry, black woman, do NOT contact me.) Hilarious.

Anyway, although I was completely turned off from the whole on-line experience after my first few days, I decided to give my cell number to two of the guys who seemed to be pretty decent. The first one, I think I literally dozed off during our conversation. Then the second one called. The one who inspired this post. This fool, who doesn't know me from a hole in the ground, told me I will never find a man because I am not compliant. I thought he was joking. Ha Ha. No ha ha, he was serious. 

Since I did not want to answer questions that I thought were too invasive for a first time conversation, his "wittle bitty" feelings were hurt and he got all defensive. A 45-year old fireman who described himself at "strong and fun to be around," couldn't handle the word "no."  He's not the only one. It seems this new "metrosexual" man of the new millenneum thinks he can ask a woman anything that pops in his head and we are supposed to answer because we are so lucky that we were selected to be in his presence. No, it doesn't work that way.  It's one thing to be curious and another to be down right disrespectful. A woman has a right to refuse topics of conversation without being labled as mean, cold or a bitch.

I really want to keep my blog a positive place, so I won't venture off into the trials and tribulations of the black woman/ black man dating scene at this time. Just had to share. Enjoy your Friday.

(hmph! Compliant? I will show yo a$$ compliant.)

Time to Put Up or Shut Up

Catalina House -- Extreme saturation, a photo by Ed Bierman on Flickr.

I am a little ashamed to say this, but I've never been a homeowner. I have managed to live in a plethora of apartment complexes, duplexes or every other -exes you can think of, but never really took home ownership seriously. The closest I've ever been to investing in my own home are my daily entries into the HGTV Dream Home Sweepstakes or Publisher's Clearing House.

Thanks to my obsession with House Hunters on HGTV, every now and again I get what I call the "home buying fever." This is when I search all over the internet looking for a house I think I can afford in the area I want to be in, but I do all of that without any real planning. I never once tried to contact a lender or real estate agency because I usually talk myself out of it.

But I told myself Twenty-twelve is going to be different. How long will I suffer through the smell of other people's dinners before I get off my tail and get the ball rolling? When will I realize that I am in the Dallas area to stay and will not be swept off my feet by my dream man to live on the beach somewhere? (yall know I got husband finding issues) I decided that time is now. I signed up for a First Time Homebuyer's class which is in a couple of weeks and is vowing to show up this time.

Now it's time to start putting my money (or lack thereof) where my mouth is.

Bucket List

Bucket-B/W, a photo by lady_lbrty on Flickr.

This past Valentine's Day, I decided to invite a good girlfriend of mine to go out and have a couple of drinks instead of sitting at home wondering if my 2013 Lover's Holiday will be just as dateless as my 2012 V-Day. My equally dateless friend said "Where and what time?" and we met up at nearby sports bar. (Which turned out to be the "Land of Reject Valentines", but I digress)

Anywho, in between a couple of laughs and shots of Three Olives "Cake" Vodka (which is delicioso) she shared with me something her dad told her during one of their conversations about life's goals and whatnot; "I know you are living the length of your life, but make sure you are living the depth of your life." Go 'head Pops. Of course I Googled it and it's similar to a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ "It's not the length life, but the depth of life."

So many of us are racing through our days on earth trying to achieve more than what we or the next person may have, that we rarely simmer down and embrace what we've already accomplished, pursue what we "really" want to do or do something with real meaning. Something that will leave your mark on this crazy world. (I know I blog on issues like this on a regular, but I need this reminder every now and again.)

The combination of the Emerson phrase and the passing of the incomparable Ms. Whitney Houston, forced me to ask myself: Do I really have a bucket list? I mean, I have a fantasy wish list of things that will never happen in my lifetime, (like, starring in a Broadway musical written and produced by Tyler Perry and directed by Spike Lee), but I really need to make a list of attainable goals beyond the normal all day, everyday stuff. It's time to get specific.

What have you done to make sure the items on your "Do or Die" list are checked off? (No, really, what?)

Happy Valentine's Day Good People

African American Couple Headed Out On the Town, 1930's, a photo by Black History Album on Flickr.

The complaining and fretting over being single on Valentine's day is so 2011, so I say ...

Love your self. Love your kids. Love the one you're with. It doesn't matter. Show somebody some love today.

It's Not Right, But It's Okay

source

Like many people around this world, my heart is a little heavy today after hearing of the passing of Whitney Houston.  I tried to explain to my son why her death is affecting me in such a way, but just couldn't put into words.  Maybe it's because she was the songbird whose career I had the pleasure of following from the very beginning.  I don't know. Maybe it's because she made the high pitch notes, low pitch notes and all of those in between seem so effortless. It could be because she was such an "around the way girl" and international diva at the same time. 

I was only 13 when the video "You Give Good Love"  appeared across the t.v screen, but I remember becoming one of her biggest fans from then on.  Beautiful smile and a beautiful voice, what more could we ask for. I was never able to get a copy of her first album, the Whitney Houston LP; but when her second record dropped, I was on it.  I would listen to both sides of that record with enclosed lyrics in hand until I knew every song. 

I wasn't ready for Whitney to go, but I understand.

That Reality Check Can Be a Beeyotch!

Sorry! The lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock by Banksy, a photo by dullhunk on Flickr.

I was having a nice little chat with a decent fella last night which led into a conversation about age. He couldn't believe how old I was, (because I'm so fabulous, of course) and it just hit him like a brick that he was turning 35. Which is still a "babe in the woods" age, but he sort of pondered off for a minute like he was about to head straight into a mid-life crisis. When he sorta came to said "35! (insert F-bomb)"

Yea, my brother, the age process is something we have to go through. You can't stop getting older, fight it, but can't stop it.

I, myself, had the big reality moment last year before I decided to start blogging. I mentioned before that I was a chronic school enroller. I couldn't (and still can't) make up my mind as to what I wanted to do when I grew up. It then hit me like a weapon of mass destruction that I was grown up. (If 39 is not grown up, then help me Lord!) I was so busy trying to decide what career path I should pursue, that the years flew right on by. Maybe I should teach. No, wait, nursing school. Nah, let's try a degree in computer information systems. Aw hell, forget all of that, get a degree in general studies and go for my masters. (Yea, that's going to happen.) In a two years, my oldest child will be on his own journey into adulthood. What are we going to do, be college roomates? (which would just kill him)

I then realized that I am fortunate to be where I am right here and right now. No, I can't go out here and drop a stack of bills on a travel agent's desk and go on a month's long tour of Europe or drop into Nieman's and pick up a little something to throw on; but I can get around without the aid of somone else, have sustained a roof over my little homies' and I heads and we eat (oh boy, we can definitely get our grub on).

So, excuse me while I embrace "my" reality, because from this moment on it's all about "letting go and letting it flow." Feel free to do the same.

Lawd Have Mercy.. This Done Made Me Miss Home

CNN Article

I'm browsing through CNN just minding my own business and ran across this here.  That picture you see above.  An over-stuffed shrimp po-boy. Dressed. If you are a native New Orleanian you know what I mean and understand why this creation from heaven deserves recognition.

It goes beyond the po-boy though. This is just one of the many things I miss about my hood.  Mardi Gras, King Cakes, beignets, Jazzfest, drive-thru daquiri shops, snowballs, speaking to people you don't know, passing by my mama and 'nem.

Yea, I know New Orleans gets a bad rap due to the violence and corruption and what-not; but I really don't want to hear "nothing from nobody" unless they were born and raised or have lived there most of their life.

It's ironic that I have this "don't talk about my city" attitude, but refuse to move back; but don't worry about all of that. Just know that the N-to-the-O is still a wonderful place to visit. (Just ask the folks that put on the Essence Fest every year. They know what time it is.)

Dating Is Some B.S

Couple dansant à contre-jour, a photo by couscouschocolat on Flickr.

Now that I've decided to take this whole "settling down/serious relationship" search seriously, I have discovered the main reason why I am still in "never married" status. Dating. Dating in the new millineum is some bullsh*t. For real.

There are so many mind games and foolishness you have to wade through to figure out if this person is a right fit, that it leaves you tired of being sick and tired. I don't know if I'm the only one feeling this way, but it's getting on my last good nerve.

It seems lately you can't get a straight answer out of anyone these days:

"What do you do for a living?" (simple question, I'm not trying to count your nickels and dimes my brother)

"Are you single?" (You HAVE to ask this due to the fact that many men define single as "not married.")

"Do you have children? If so, how often do you see them?" (Another importante' inquiry, because if they don't give a damn about theirs, you know what they will think about yours)

"How did your last relationship end?" (I am not overly concerned about how many relationships you may have had or when they ended. My major concerns are: did you have to obtain or be put on a restraining order? Were the police on speed dial throughout the relationship? and.. are you currently in hiding because the ex, who just served time due to the last attempt on your life, will be released from prison soon. ((I met someone going through this)))

Sigh.. yea, dating is for the birds.

My Novels That Never Were

book cone, a photo by jimforest on Flickr.

I've been having the "write the next best thing in literary fiction" itch again. Either it's time to scratch it or pick up some Neosporin.

The problem is that I have perfected the arts of procrastination and avoidance. There are at least 30 or so story starters or ideas in my Word documents file. I had some pretty good ideas if I do say so myself. (just going to pop my collar right here) **pop**

So, I'm going to add one last goal to my list of "sh*t or get off the pot" list. Pick a starter and finish something!! (For the love of all that is holy!)

She That Don't Cooketh Can Still Findeth A Good Thing

Cooking - Ninja Style, a photo by cszar on Flickr.

Ok.. this may never be me. I am not and probably will never be a "beast" in the kitchen. Whew! Now, that I have accepted this revelation, I can move on.

I have been worrying myself silly about being a "fire" cook and it's just not working out. After the last grilled steak episode Sunday evening (which I'm too ashamed to even explain..Dude, I even used the fool-proof George Foreman), I realize that this whole preparing cooked food thing is not my strong point. (Well, let me take that back, trying to go out of my comfort zone is an issue.) I will no longer waste my hard-earned dollar bills on red meat unless it comes in the shape of a frozen, prepared hamburger pattie.

With all of that being said, I know we (or I) have been told numerous times that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, honey chile, this sista is definitely going to have to find another route.

**silence**

Ok, this post was about to head in a whole other direction, but I'm just going to stop while I'm ahead.

Is Black History Month Going Out of Style?

It just occurred to me that this is Black History month.  No, really, it did.

I asked my 15-year old if his school was doing anything special this month and he looked at me without a lick of concern and says, "Nope. Do you have an extra dollar so I can buy some cookies at lunch?" (sigh) I will ask my other youngin' later this evening, but after searching the school district's website I didn't find anything.

If you think about it, do we really need to focus on black history once a year? In the age of Google, iPads, Smart phones and downloadable apps, black history facts are available 24/7. Just search "first black (or African-American) person to do this or that" and you got it.

 Back in the day, Black History month saved us a few hours of searching through the library for information (because someone else took the time to do it)  and gave us a month's worth of black films on tv. Now, you can just hit up Netflix or Amazon and there you have it. You can watch X, every Dr. Martin Luther the King movie ever made or School Daze wherever and whenever.

I'm not saying we should lay black history to the wayside, but as a parent take it upon ourselves to make sure the kids are aware of the contributions and sacrifices that were made. Not wait for a program at the school or church to do it for us. Visit a museum every now and again. What would it hurt. HuffPost/Black Voices put a decent little piece together about Black History. Check it out here.

Now, on that note, and in recognition of Black History month, please enjoy one of my 10-year old's and I favorite YouTube clips. A 7-year old Sammy Davis Jr singing "You Rascal You."

Look How Far We've Come... smh

This was considered "saucy and tantalizing" in 1911.



found it here


and then you have this 101 years later....


I was tittering around on Twitter a couple of nights ago when Drizzy tweeted that he was asking for video submissions for his song "Practice" along with the link to his blog. (Here's the link if you've been practicing.) So, being the nosey person I am I went to his blog and found this tomfoolery.


Practice from OctobersVeryOwn on Vimeo.

Now, I do not and refuse to knock anyone's hustle, but I couldn't help but think how pathetically this is the norm. Now females and she-males of every size, age and color are going to try to get their 15 minutes.
 
**I can't seem to get back up after I drop it...so no submission from me (just kidding!!)**

Feb Pic-A-Day ..Words

I'm not sure if you are aware, but I've been on a one-woman protest to North Texas Tollway Authority charges since 2008.  No, it didn't make Fox News or Good Morning America, but I cannot stand this pimp-o-licious activity that's taking place on these highways.  How dare you force me to pay because I choose to take a quicker route?  Just because I need to get to a particular happy hour to catch the "$4 You-call-its" before 7, you are telling me that I have to sit in traffic and risk paying regular prices for my favorite cocktail or pay you $4 - $5 to get there in time?  Ludicrous!

**pulls out debit card to avoid that second notice**

I Am Drawing a Blank These Days..So, February Pic-of-the-Day It Is

Nothing much as changed since last week (I'm still husbandless, struggling with this "cooking from scratch" thing and I still can't compare abs with Kelly Rowland), which has pretty much left me with nothing to post about.  So, I decided to join the February Picture-a-day thingamajig I found on another blog (right here)  Fatmumslim.com.au. But. honestly, I probably won't complete it, because I like everything else I start...I never finish.

Today's topic is "my view today"

So here it is. The lovely view of my "organized mess" of a desk.

Notice the Christmas cards under the monitor which may stay there until next Christmas.
The framed magazine photo of Tupac.
The file holder thingy has holding useless information. (I have no idea what any of that stuff is)

Yea, that's it. My view every week. Lovely.