What Is I'm Gon' Do?

no-love heart, a photo by zenilorac on Flickr.

Well.. since I have placed a cease and desist order on my M.O.M.D search (that's Man Of My Dreams if you didn't know), I was thinking to myself that I really need a hobby. Not one of those things I would do every now and again, but a bonafide, real deal hobby. So I have been tossing around a few ideas until one sticks.

The first few things I considered were in the garment making arena such as quilting and knitting, but then I thought why don't I just stamp "Old Maid in The Making" on my behind.

So moving on.. Gourmet cooking. Just enough for me to learn how to use things like truffle oil and leeks and shit, but then someone who has burned themselves using a George Foreman grill should probably not spend more than 15 minutes at a time in the kitchen.

I then considered taking one of those online holistic healing courses or a seminar to tap into my psychic abilities (because I sometimes secretly think I'm like that psychic lady Silvia that's on the Montel Williams show), but that wouldn't work either because I still have yet to predict the winning Mega Million numbers.

So.. I am now really thinking of becoming a female body builder, but I would stop right before I form a muscle face and my breasts start to look like a spartan shield with nipples.

(ok.. maybe I need to ponder on this a little bit more.)

Sugar, Sugar...Ah Honey, Honey

Rainbow cake, a photo by Better Than Bacon on Flickr.

Today is the first day of my self-imposed sugar challenge. I am going to limit my sugar intake to the recommended 40 grams a day.

Yes, sugar is my crack... so I'm sure I will be cravin' and feindin' all week. But since I have some serious weight loss goals in mind, it's time to s^%$ or get off the pot.

So..here we go. Day one challenge: get past the honey buns in the kitchen cabinet without shaking.

What Would Chuck Norris Do?

 

I'm not sure if it's the fact that the big Biggest Loser weigh-in day is in two weeks or what, but I felt the urge to pull the clothes I was supposed to hang up two weeks ago off the Total Gym and get my resistance on.  I'm here to tell you.. this little piece of machinery right here ain't no joke. (If you do it right that is.) 

Sure, I might lay on it for about 10 to 15 minutes between exercises because I done went too far and what was supposed to be a 20 - 30 minute workout might last about 90 minutes, but it really works. When I used to be very serious about obtaining a wicked, bodacious bawdy, I would hit it everyday sometimes twice a day and the inches were coming off.  But as usual, I would start seeing results and stop.

This time I will vow (fingers crossed) to make it part of my daily routine. I done YouTubed a gang of videos so I can switch it up a bit and begin sliding my way to fit and tonifiedness. This might just be the summer of the debut of the two piece. (ok yea, I just took it little too far right there.) 

One Is The Magic Number?

The number 1, a photo by WarmSleepy on Flickr.

Let me first start off by saying that I'm so happy that a new week has started I could jump up and kiss myself. Twice. I've had one of those weeks with a whole bunch of somethings goings on and a bunch of nothing accomplished. But it's all good.

Let's recap the Fasting/Detox/Kept-Me-Hungry-As-A-Beast diet I dropped out of at record speed. I just knew I could last 10 days and drop the "20" pounds I was supposed to be able to lose, but when that baked chicken I prepared for the kids Wednesday night called out to me like Celie called for Nettie... I knew it was over. So, I'm starting this new fitness week on the right foot (well, minus the cold fried chicken and slices of bacon I ate for breakfast) by hitting the treadmill for 30 extra minutes a day this week and NO cookies.

Ok..now, let's get down to the real reason I was called to post something today. There's no shame in my game and nothing but pride in my stride, so it does not bother me one bit to admit that I am not an "online dating" success story. And I don't think I will ever be because of the tomfoolery and craziness that draw to me like magnets and I'm the fridge. I do not look for them. I do not exude these things, but they find me.

From this last go round in the world of digital love, I have managed to talk to a guy who advised me that he wanted to leave his scent in my sheets. Never even saw the guy. One guy owned a "Male Grooming Service" which I could never get the full details about, but they or he offers massages, so I just thought I would get out that situation swiftly. Ummm.. an older, retired gentleman who sent me messages constantly requesting he take me out for a dinner of pork chops. Yea, he was 73 years old. No, I decline.

But the one who really frightened me and has now depleted any faith or willingness I had to leave the world of online love open to possibility let down the gauntlet on Friday night. He brought the world of "down low" men to my doorstep, or cell phone because we never met. He revealed his "other side" while in a drunken state. I really thank Mary's Little Baby for that one though because I dodged a serious bullet. But just being that close to one of my greatest fears left me shaken and discombobulated.

Let me make this clear. This is nothing against the LGBT community..do what you do. This is my fear of the "straight" guys who like to dibble and dabble every now and again with other men and act like they don't. Say dude, you can keep that shit. So yea, I was just faced with the reality that the down low man is out there and they are out to get us. No joke.

This has led me to think that being single ain't so bad after all. Hell, I enjoy my own company, you know what I'm saying? What law is there that says we HAVE to be in a relationship? None. I got my kids. I got my books. And I have my Netflix and wine.. life is good.

(Now, I just have to tell myself that over and over and I will begin to believe it)

Dueces and Tre's

Day 3 - I Should Never Smoke Crack.

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(I do not mean to offend anyone whose ever suffered with or suffering with addiction. It's just the random foolishness that goes around in my head being brought to the light)

I am now convinced that I do not have one ounce of willpower. I was doing so well yesterday. I ate apples, drank my tea and honey and water and ate collard greens (without meat) for lunch and it was all good in the hood.  Hit the treadmill and thought about how I was going to blog about my new found love of honey. How it is now considered my miracle food because it seems to curb the need for sugary sweets like the devilish honey bun, then I got home. I was like a crackhead revisiting a crack house for the first time after rehab.

The urge didn't start until I put the baked chicken I prepared for the kids in the oven. I was eating my bland dinner and drinking water thinking I could make it through the night until that chicken came out of the oven. The amount of euphoria and joy I experienced when I decided to "just have a little taste" of the crispy, hot chicken cannot be explained by mere words. I not only ate that piece of chicken with the ferociousness of Mustafa, but I went on and made myself my version of a Mexican pizza (which is just whole wheat tortilla, cheese, jalapeno peppers, tomatoes and chicken..oh, and cilantro thrown in the oven. Simple but so delicioso)

As I ate this I thought I should never try crack or any drug for that matter, because if I can't wean myself off food, how in the hell would I expect to let go of the crack rock?

And yes, the fasting/quick weight loss b.s is over. I will just have to drop this 20 pounds the old fashioned way. Bump that starvation mess because I likes to eat!

Day 1 of My Fasting Diet (The Chocolate Chip Remix)

2011Aug27PreIronman 007, a photo by Dawn - Pink Chick on Flickr.

Monday was supposed to be my first day of this so called fasting diet I was hipped to, but as I posted the same day it became an immediate epic fail. Well, I woke up Tuesday ready to try it again. I wasn't fully prepared because I didn't get to "make groceries" like I was supposed to on Monday evening, but I said to hell with it let's get this thing rolling.

So I did manage to drink enough water to fill Lake Pontchartrain and enough herbal tea to cure every ailment known to man, but I didn't eat anything until about 8pm. This is where things took a wrong turn. I heated up some frozen collard greens (which was all I was supposed to eat) while re-heating some left over white beans and sausage for my lil homies. Before I knew it, I was eating collard greens and white beans in the same bowl and devouring smoke sausage like it was cased by Emeril Lagasse. I figured "oh well, might as well go on 'head and eat these chocolate chip cookies too since I done messed up."

Well to my surprise, I hopped on the scale this morning and found I lost 3 pounds since last week. Can I get a "whoop whoop?!"

So.. I'm 'bout to keep tea/water thing going and see what the scale has for me Friday.

I Tried Fasting...

Excuse me while I whine about my ongoing battle with weight loss for a minute.

So, I was talking to an acquaintance of mine last week and "dropping pounds" found its way into the conversation. I told him all about the Biggest Loser deal we have going on at the job. He asked me how it was going. I sucked my teeth and complained how I hadn't lost one $#%@^ pound when he offered me a copy of this 10 day "fasting" diet he went by that helped him lose 20 pounds. I was like "yea, that's what's up. Give it here."

I was all hyped up last week talking about how I couldn't wait until Monday to get the ball rolling. I can survive on cabbage, spinach, apples, tea and honey for 10 days. No problem.

Well, here it is Monday morning and I'm already feeling like this:

source

This ain't gon' work dawg. I couldn't survive 5 hours. How in the world am I going to go 10 days? I have a headache, my stomach is touching my back (that's extremely hungry) and I'm two seconds away from putting the entire cookie jar up to my mouth and letting the Chips Deluxe have their way.

Back to the treadmill for me.. (there's just no easy way outta this mess)

..and here's a lil clip from the movie for your enjoyment...(replace the cramps! with HUNGER! and that's me.)

Cramps!



I'm Gonna Git You Sucka

— MOVIECLIPS.com

Photo-a-day Color

 

On my "blast the fat" walk yesterday, snapped a pic of this tree. That's all I have to say about that.

April photo a day challenge list (Let's try this again..sigh)

Click on that link below if you want to try this. I have been neglecting my blog big time so I thought I would try this again.

From her blog:
fat mum slim: April photo a day challenge list: Hello! Are you ready for a month of fun? I'm pretty darn excited about this month's list. It feels fun. Do you agree? So let me explain a...

Here's my day one:

My reflection... why the microwave? Because when I walk into the house the first thing out of my boys' mouths is "I'm hungry." or "What are we going to eat?" And with my "stellar" cooking skills, I would be totally lost without one of these.