Focus Friday

I have been doubting myself a whole lot lately. I am currently in a position I have prayed to be in during my entire tenure as a single mom. Finally able to pursue something I've always wanted to do and what happens? The old habit of "doubting me" has kicked in.  I can actually visualize my goals but having the hardest time getting the party started.

What will it take to keep me inspired? How do I stay motivated?  What stops me from believing I don't deserve everything I desire? These are the questions I will be asking myself this weekend.  

I know what I want to do with the rest of my life but I need to convince myself that it can happen. (Crazy as it sounds)

How do you stay inspired? What motivates you to pursue your dreams?

Time Well Spent. Not!

This week is the first week I'm experiencing life without a nine-to-five. I finally have some time to really think about what I want to do with the rest of my life. Some deep soul-searching if you will.

Yesterday I managed to to practice the art of procrastination from the time I dropped the boys off at school until it was time to pick them up. I picked up my copy of Immediate Fiction by Jerry Cleaver (which I swear is going to help me become the greatest writer I swear I'm going to be) but after glancing over a few pages I remembered I had a quite a few events to enter on my new addictive past time Covet Fashion. Then I remembered I didn't harvest my wheat on the other game app I mistakenly added to my Kindle, Township. Combine those two games and a marathon of Gotham and The Mysteries of Laura on Hulu and there you have my entire "work" day in a nutshell.

So after yesterday's activities, I have decided to get off my arse and figure this thing out.  I have decided from this day forward to immerse myself in the world of literature. Do my research. Familiarize myself with authors I admire. Organize my own work. Bring my stories from their hiding place and actually work on them.  Lastly, as much as I fear what the aftermath may entail, remove the distracting apps from my Kindle. (My hands are literally shaking at the thought. Seriously)

So true.

What tips do you have to make sure you stay on track to meet your goals?

Finding My Niche

Henry David Thoreau said this. 

Well, this is my last official week as a resident of Dallas, TX. While it's been pretty nerve-racking this last couple of weeks, I am totally excited about the move.  Being jobless, not so much. In all of my 40+ years of living, I am doing something I've never done. I am literally quitting my job and moving back to my hometown with not so much as a potential place of employment in sight.

The old reliable, follow the rules, "does-everything-right" me is scared out of her mind. This new "just-wing-it," have faith and "take-a-chance-for-once" person I have become has a slew of ideas of how to make this the opportunity to do something she's always wanted to do. Get my degree. Become a full-time blogger (it scares me to declare myself one, but ok).  Write that urban, romance, coming-of-age, historical fiction novel I've been dreaming about since I discovered the fanstastical world of books. Start another small business.

The bottom line is, I need to come from under the cloud of self-doubt and finally admit that I deserve to do whatever it is I strive to do. I kill my dreams before I even get a chance to place action behind them.

I recently read a post on a blog I quietly stalk, Allthemanylayers.com, that really resonated with me. It forced me to step back and take a long, hard look at how I self-sabotage any idea I am initially excited about. And don't get me started on the whole procrastination issue.

So... I have decided to no longer come up with excuses why something won't work, take the initiative to do something I want to do and STICK TO IT!

Focus Friday

Love this saying I found. Why wait?

What's the Deal?

I am finding myself increasingly perturbed with folks' reactions to my family and I moving back to New Orleans from Dallas.

Now, I don't expect everyone to cartwheel around the room or high-five me every time I mention it, but could I at least get a "wish you the best" or "I'm happy for you?" It appears everyone's first reaction is "why?!"  It's like Hurricane Katrina happened 9 days ago instead of 9 years ago. Yes, New Orleans still needs some improvement (and a Genghis Grill), but it ain't exactly some war torn country where folks are fighting for rations everyday. There are people working, going to school and loving life just as good or if not better than the rest of the world.

So with that being said, the next time somebody gives me that "aw poor you" look or feels the need to remind me why every other city in this U.S of A is better than New Orleans, for them I say this....





9 more days and counting.

#NewOrleans #504 #lovemycity

Shantel

Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans?

2014 has been quite a year so far.

I managed to do two things I've been putting off for about nine years now, releasing myself from chemical slavery (chopped off the relaxer) and finally make the decision to return home.

No matter how hard I tried to evict the feeling of moving back to New Orleans out of my brain, it will gnaw at me like a hyena on its prey..especially during the holidays, Mardi Gras season, Lenten season (especially when I need some money beans form the St. Joseph's altar), Jazz Fest time, French Quarter Fest time, Essence Fest time, start of crawfish season, hurricane season, football season... I'm sure you get the gist of it. All the time.

Am I nervous? Yes. Do I have a plan of action in place? Somewhat. Does the fact that New Orleans still has its crime issues, public education issues and all around "get it together" issues make me doubt whether this is the time to move my school age children back?  A little bit. Does the tingling feeling I get whenever I think about moving back home override any doubt or nervousness I feel? Hell to the yeah.

10 days and counting.. leggo!

Sunday Inspiration

source

12 days until the big move back home. Am I nervous? Yes. Will I regret it? No.

Shantel

What is Lee Daniels doing right now?

I'm asking this because I need him to direct a movie for me.

I've been meaning to getting around to reading John Grisham's Sycamore Row for awhile now. It's been hanging around my Kindle since November hidden among my guilty pleasure novels like K. Elle Collier's My Man's Best Friend or Daaimah S. Poole's Another Man Will (which I have yet to read by the way, but I'm sure we will discuss later), but I finally decided to start reading it two days ago.

Get it here

Okay.. I haven't finished the book, but I felt compelled to stop and express my thoughts so far. I am still in the beginning phase of this novel, you know the part of the book where you are introduced to the major players, but I can sense a "book-to-movie" when I read one.

This is where I need Lee Daniels' help. (Now I know this man doesn't know me from Adam..but allow me to dream for a little bit) If you don't know who Mr. Daniels is; remember The Butler? Precious? Yea.. that guy.

Only Lee would be able to pull this one off. A old, wealthy white guy kills himself in Mississippi and leaves the majority of his estate to his poor, black housekeeper?! Doesn't leave a nickel to his grown children?! Oooh hunty, let the drama commence.



I can already see Matthew McConaughey coming back to take over his role as Jake Brigance (I know it's been 18 years since Time to Kill, but he's been using that Mary Kay's Time Wise or something because the dude looks good).  Seth Hubbard (the rich fella that causes all of the brou-ha-ha) would be played by an old stand-by like Bruce Dern  (this guy right here) and of course Ms. Lettie would need to be brought to life by the incomparable Viola Davis.

Only Lee would be able to capture the full grittiness of the dirty south where folks still live on the "black side" of town. Where people sit on porches and everybody knows everybody or knows somebody that knows everybody.  Maybe I should DM Mr. Daniels on Instagram with my idea. Put that little bug in his ear. Should I start a Facebook page? Whatcha think?

Make time for a little reading and enjoy your weekend!

Tel

R.I.P Dr. Angelou

Rest In Peace to the author I was introduced to through required summer reading before entering the 10th grade, Dr. Maya Angelou.

(both found here)

Sunday Quote

Just Keep Writing... (In my Dory voice)

Find it here

I'm a recovering book hoarder. It is really hard for me to part with any form of publication to be honest with you. I just recently got rid of a slew of paperback novels along with three year's worth of Essence magazines and you would've sworn I was giving up my last birthed child.

Anywho, I managed to hang on to a couple of my favorite books by my favorite authors (nobody puts J. California Cooper in the giveaway box...NOBODY!) plus a few back issues of Fitness magazine that I swear I'm going to read once I start going "beast mode" with this weight loss. (I have a year's worth of issues. An entire year.)

I say all that to say this: I found the book that I purchased about 8 or so years ago that I swore was going to help me write the novel of all novels, Jerry Cleaver's Immediate Fiction. That dream I've been holding onto since I was in the 5th grade writing short stories about my imaginary break dancing, boom box carrying boyfriend and I would finally come to fruition.  Well, being that I have those procrastination issues and a big habit of starting something without finishing, it found it's way in the pile of "I will do it one day."  I think today might be the day. The urge to write has been bearing weight on me for a couple of weeks now and I think it's time to get this party started.

So.. I placed upon myself a goal. One chapter a week and all exercises completed.

Found this on Pinterest:

Let's do this.

My Constant Struggle.

I am a chronic procrastinator.  If it's not on fire, doesn't involve the children's schooling or isn't needed to keep the bills paid, most likely I've avoided doing it. This bad habit is so deeply rooted in my being, I'm constantly reminding myself I need to do something about it. Which just defeats the purpose, because I'm avoiding tackling my avoidance.

Well, since a few dynamics have changed in my life and some of the daily struggles I dealt with as a single mother are no longer there, I've decided to face this problem head-on. I am declaring the remainder of this year "The Year I Get Shit Done."

There are three major "to-do's" on my list"

1. Tackle these 40 pounds I swear I'm going to lose or embrace what God gave me and shut-up about it.
2. Write a novel. I don't care if I only manage to write one word a day, I'm gettin' 'er done.
3. Become a Naturalista and remain free from chemical bondage for the rest of my days.  

(I managed to accomplish #3 on May 8, 2014. Can you say "freedom?")

#noexcuses #2014istheyear #letsdothis

Have You Heard of Her?

There are two things I spend most of my time doing: scouring the internet for ways to lose 20 pounds in one month without dieting or working out and downloading inexpensive fiction onto my Kindle. Well, some time ago when I was on the hunt for something new to read, I ran across a series of books by Adrienne Thompson. Can you say the bombdiggity? Her writing is easy to follow and the storylines will hold your interest from beginning to end. I pretty much devoured each book in a few sittings. (and that's only because family duties kept interrupting my flow).  Start with this series of books and I can guarantee you won't be disappointed.

link

You can download the majority of her books at the low, low cost of $3.99 per novel. So grab your Kindle, a glass of Moscato (or your spirit of choice) and be prepared to be entertained. 

Get Over It Already

I have been stressing. I stressed myself out about sticking to a weight loss plan which led me to stress about finding time to work out which then led to me stressing about what to do with my hair. I started stressing so much about my hair, that I started eating cookies to ease the pain which brought me back full circle. 

So, I decided (for the fourth time, mind you) to chop the locks. The trials and tribulations of a black woman's hair stops today. And you know what, I like it and don't care if anyone else does. 

Mother's Day

I'm feeling the blog-fever again. I don't have a set idea of what this brilliant idea of mine will be about so I decided to just wish all of the wonderful moms out there a glorious and joyful Mother's Day!

Double Down

Well it's been a minute, but I woke up this morning with my blog on my mind.

Quite a few things have changed over this past year. Ok that's putting it lightly, my whole family dynamic has changed. I'm talking a complete 360. If I can recall the last time I attempted to put this blogging thang into effect, I was either whining about how I don't have a man or can't find a man or something or other. Well, let's just say I got what I asked for with a few extras.

Let me give you the short version of events:

I pretty much decided I was going to be alone not lonely. My sister called out of the blue telling me she knew someone I should meet. I liked him. He liked me. My kids liked his kids. We are not getting any younger. His became mine and mine became his. Now my family of three is a family of seven with one on a part-time basis (for now.) I wish I would utter the word "alone" again.

Everything I do now is doubled (if not tripled).  I am still in the learning phases of this whole BIG family thing, but have to admit I am enjoying the process. So, as I go through this transition I thought I would share what I'm learning with the world (or for the five people who may actually read this).

Up next: How do you go from being the "mom" who traditionally takes her family to someone else's house for Thanksgiving to becoming the "one" who actually has to cook?

No Trail, No Problem ..Lazy Girl Working Out.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but there aren't any decent walking trails near my crib and I avoided walking near my complex like it was underpaid job. The main street is too busy, I would have to cross over too many driveways and streets..you name it, I found an excuse not to do it. Also, the nearest, longest "walking/bike" trail is miles away and the closest trail to me is only .3 miles long so I would have to walk in circles for I don't know how long. 

Well, yesterday I knew I had to do something because I only worked out 3 times last week. I couldn't make myself do another "Walk Away The Pounds" workout, really wasn't feeling the Jillian thang and if I did one more "cumbia" step with Beto I was going to scream. 

So.. as the high of the day settled in ( 44 degrees, I think) I got tired of sitting in front of the computer "pinning" and watching Netflix. I suddently had the urge to put on my workout pants and my oldest son's old hoodie (who'd-a-thunk I would be wearing my son's hand me downs) and hit the pavement. Didn't have a route planned out, but I just started walking. 

I managed to walk 3.4 miles in 55 minutes which I think I would've been faster if I knew where I was going and didn't encounter those few uphill climbs I didn't expect. 

It's alright if I had to walk through a cloud of black exhaust from one truck and have a guy in a dually almost run me off the road as I tried to cross the street (he had the red light mind you) ...but it was worth it. 

I'm now officially a street walker.. 

Fattened Up and Sent Out to Pasture

source

I told myself I wasn't going to blog about anything personal, but who the hell am I fooling.?  I can't help but put my business on blast, it's just what I do. So..with that being said, let me go on ahead and explain the meaning behind the title of today's post.

I started seeing someone.  He wasn't my normal "type," whatever that means, but we hit it off right away. Long story short, I was having such a good time that I totally forgot about the few pounds I lost and they happily found their way back to my waistline and more.

Well, I got two gifts for Christmas from my "guy."  I received a nice little gift bag one day and the whole "It's not you, it's me" speech the next. He also threw in the line "You will make someone a good wife one day, but I'm not ready for all that." That was like handing me a plate full of light, fluffy flapjacks then pouring motor oil on top. What the hell am I supposed to do with that b.s?!

But I digress, I said I wasn't going to harp on the whole dissolution of my recent partnership, but I can't help but be a little perturbed that I allowed myself to commit one of the cordial dating sins (if there is such a thing); forget about my weight loss because some fella showed me a little attention.

Now.. I refuse to make a New Year's resolution about weight loss, but I will definitely give it my all in attempting to, thinking about, considering dropping these few pounds one ounce at a time. 

Peace.

2012..A Year Not Wasted.

http://flic.kr/p/dFTPLH

Being that I haven't regularly posted in some time now, I thought I would end the year with a little something. Like most folks, I did ponder over the year gone by and wonder what I could have or should have done differently to get better results from whatever I was trying to do.  Then I went back and read the few posts I did make when I started this thing and I learned one thing, no make that two things, about myself in 2012.

1) That whole putting the pressure on being "Fit by 40" thang was created with good intention; however, I realized that I'm happy with me just the way I am. No amount of pound loss will make me feel any better than I already do. (But I can't lie to you, I think it would be fantabulous to one day be able to stroll down the beaches of Maui in a two piece..however, I have learned to settle for the stroll in a nice sundress) 

2) While nobody put a ring on it this year, declaring 2012 as the year of the "Man of My Dreams" wasn't such a  waste of time after all. I met some great guys and learned a few things about myself in the process. One, that I am quite capable of compromise and number two that I CAN cook. Now, I won't be setting any relationship declarations for the year 2013, but I'm still holding on to the hope that he is out there somewhere. On this planet at least.

So, Happy New Year and may this one being even better than the last.

Happy Holidays and....

I just wanted to take a minute and wish everyone a very Happy Holidays and I swear fo' lawd that I will be back in full force in 2013. Just give me a sec to figure out what this whole blog will be about and it will be on!